


Dancing With Your Ghost

by desaulnier_s



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Carol has heart eyes, Domestic Avengers, F/F, Feelings, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Love Letters, Natasha is a hopeless romantic, Natasha’s Memorial Service, Please Don't Hate Me, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Soulmates, Steve is a good man
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 11:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21178598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desaulnier_s/pseuds/desaulnier_s
Summary: With a filthy wink, Natasha rose to her feet and strode out of the room, high heels clicking until the only sound in the room was the buzzing of a sleepless city (desperately working towards any control.) Carol sat there completely dumbstruck. Did Natasha really just work up Carol Susan Jane Danvers, the woman known to breathe in finesse? Yes. Did Carol like it? You fucking bet.orPost Endgame AU : Carol is reminiscing over Natasha, the love of her life, and it brings flashbacks in the five year skip; some that ache, others all filth, and most she wouldn’t let go for the world.





	1. Chapter 1

“You know, I wish there is a way I could let her know... that we won... we did it.”

Carol held a gaze to the surrounding wilderness, in attempt to prevent the avalanche of her strangled tears from bursting through; in attempt to save herself from her own emotions. 

“She knows. After putting her damn life on it, god, I pray she knows...”

With her short words, heavy pangs of guilt and grief reflected from Carol to Clint. Acknowledging her burdens, he placed a hand on the edge of her shoulder. It was stiff, but immediately softened at his contact. Any consolation was meaningful, especially for the one who hurt the deepest. 

The silence was interrupted by a familiar voice coming from behind.

“Are you ready, Carol?” 

The pair turned to see Steve, still in his suit, making his way through the overgrown plant life. 

“Be right there.” She replied.

Clint pulled Carol into a compassionate hug. His clasp was firm and close, keeping her from slipping away, making sure she wouldn’t leave without his closure. A weak smiled broadened on his face. 

“Stay safe, Carol.” 

“Of course. You too.”

X

Carol had been distant for the first twenty minutes of the ride back. He didn’t have to assume how she was feeling, everyone was mourning the death of a loyal teammate, a trusted friend, a beloved family member. When Steve broke the news to Carol after reversing the snap, she didn’t react as anyone had assumed. She simply stood there with no visible emotions, and flew away to the deepest celestials of her vast knowledge, only returning in the wake of Tony’s funeral. 

To Steve, Carol Danvers was going through tremendous loss, and he was more experienced with that than anyone is supposed to be. So he willed to himself, as a friend of Carol’s and family of Natasha that he would be with her every step of the way.

Steve kept his view on the road as he spoke, “you know, those last five years, I left and got a place in the city. It was kind of therapeutic for me, seeing all of them move on little by little. Surrounding myself with those people, like my support group, made me believe that I could do it too. I kept telling Nat we should get a life, you know move on, but she didn’t. She refused to. I visited a few times just to check in, but I hated seeing her so miserable. She hung onto to this useless hope where all the possibilities were working against her...” 

Steve glimpsed to his left where Carol’s chestnut eyes met his own. She had positioned her whole body towards him; the thoughtful look fixed on her face urged him to continue. 

“Don’t get me wrong, she was still Nat, but it was different. She was distant. She didn’t make those corny jokes in Russian. She didn’t crave any PB&Js. Overall, the opposite. A little after your arrival, the Natasha I knew began to come back. She would greet me with hugs and return to teasing my love life. One visit she said, “In these times, Steve, it’s not too late for that special someone. I just think we all deserve a little of that in our lives, you know?” The thing was she said we, as in the world, including herself. Natasha seemed happy, so I didn’t question it, but I always wandered who. I didn’t find out it was you until she ran to me jumping about a proposal.” 

Upon his last word, Steve received a genuine smile from Carol. She liked to believe the best decision she’s ever made was also the easiest. The blonde gaped out the window; the first interaction leading to it being the only thought occupying her head. 

X

“So, if the Kree and Skrull stuff is in the past, what do you do these days?” Natasha poured her fourth glass of Moët & Chandon unaware of how much she’s already injested.

Just as she was about to take a sip, Carol cautiously lowered it back down and brought it to her own lips. “That’s enough champagne for tonight.” Natasha watched in envy as she drank it in one go.

Carol set the glass far from Natasha’s reach and pronounced her words clear, unlike the minimal slurs from the other woman. “I guess it’s never really over. By the time I’m halfway across the galaxy, another problem shows up on my radar. And it seems like the Kree are desperately trying to piss me off. After all these years, you’d think my corrections would teach em’ something, but nah. They’re always up to no good, and I’m always the one for the job.” 

Natasha carefully moved out of the bar and stretched herself onto the sofa. She peered out the window overlooking the city lights until her gaze met Carol’s once more. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Natasha’s features suddenly saddened. Guilt flooded Carol’s centers. She didn’t realize she sounded so miserable; now she’s gone ahead and burdened someone else with her problems. Carol sighed. “N- Tasha, it’s- No, I’m sorry. It’s just exhausting sometimes. I look out for others and I forget about myself. Y’know.. crumble to my own little despair...” She found no point in speaking if no one was listening. With a lowered head pressed into the palms of her own hands, Carol was just on the verge of it all.

She held her breath as a warm hand took place on her thigh. To her surprise, it was Natasha, who seemed more sober than before the night began. Her head was tilted in concern lining her eyes in direct contact with Carol’s. 

“I’m no space captain, but I know a little about that independence. I stood completely alone, until I got this job, this family,” Nat’s hand had started rubbing the jeans in soothing motions, “we’re yours now, even if you mind.” The women chuckled in unison. “We got you. But when you’re in space, you have to remember you’re half human too, you have your limits.” Carol placed her hand atop Natasha’s skin. When returning the contact, both women felt a major shift. It was unexplainable, unspeakable, but it was most definitely there. “Y-yeah, you’re right. Thanks.” With all the uneasiness lifted from the atmosphere, Carol reverted to her ordinary self. “I thought you were passed out a few moments ago.”

Natasha leaned back into the cushions but kept her hand where it sat. Her lips curled into a contagious smile, an expression Carol was increasingly starting to adore. “That? I was just a little tired. For almost all of my past missions, I had to charm the subject into my traps. Eighty percent of it included alcohol, forced me to develop a high tolerance.” 

Carol sat up and looked at Natasha with a vague narrow in her eyes. “I bet you would’ve had no trouble seducing them without the alcohol.” Her voice was deepening, and it was all too noticeable. 

“You certainly have a way with your words.” She replied slowly, returning the tone heavier than ever. “Was this your first night of fun since 1995?” Natasha’s eyes were like a window to the all of the desires she held in her core. Carol took it to mind but went chaste. 

“Actually, yes. And I enjoyed it very much. You’ve turned out to be my best company yet.” Carol hesitated before she spoke her next word. “Could I take you out for dinner, sometime?”

“Just like that, huh?”

Carol relapsed into her sly nature. “Just like that.” 

“I like the way your mind works, Danvers. So tell me, would this event make us exclusive?” 

“By the end of that night, it’s whatever floats your boat, babe.” Carol knew her answer, no doubt, but fidgeted at the thought of the other woman’s feelings not being mutual. 

“I look forward to it. In the meantime,” Natasha leaned into Carol’s ear with the slightest touch, her breath sending chills throughout the other blonde’s body, “don’t go messing with any other girls... my reservation’s first, we’ll see if it’ll be your last.” 

With a filthy wink, Natasha rose to her feet and strode out of the room, high heels clicking until the only sound in the room was the buzzing of a sleepless city (desperately working towards control.) Carol sat there completely dumbstruck. Did Natasha really just work up Carol Susan Jane Danvers, the woman known to breathe in finesse? Yes. Did Carol like it? You fucking bet.


	2. Unspoken Things

For the sake of being old friends, Fury offered Carol a different place when they arrived, but she politely declined. She didn’t know a room could hold so much until later. He told her it would always be available if she changed her mind and she was thankful.

Other than an open suite, Fury also left Carol with a thinned photo, most likely more than a few years old. “I was looking through Natasha’s old office... thought you might wanna have it,” he said. “Thank you, for everything, Nick.” He didn’t flinch one muscle at the sound of his first name. And with a slight nod, Carol was left alone in his office, holding something worth a thousand memories. 

In the photo, Natasha was sitting at Nick’s desk with Goose arched into her bare arms. Her grin so radiating, Carol could feel the familiar tenderness grow in her chest. Her grasp on the photo tightened as she reflected on what she missed, or rather, the time she could’ve had with Natasha. Of course, she wanted to help as much as possible, but sometimes you can’t meet everyone’s expectations. Yet, instead of spending time with her fiancée, Carol was up in the sky, a light years distance away and nowhere to be seen from Natasha’s longing gaze. 

X

Carol unknowingly picked at the thick stems of the bouquet. The extended corridor to Natasha’s quarters was only the first work of her growing nerves. 

‘Am i underdressed?’

‘What if she realizes I’m not worth it?’

‘I can’t do this.’

‘Was she even serious?’

‘Am I moving too fast?’

‘What if I screw up?’

‘How could I make it up to her?”

‘Wait, I shouldn’t think about that right no-‘

“Hi, Carol.”

Carol was so preoccupied rambling inside her head that she hadn’t realized she arrived at Nat’s door, much less knocked already. With a slight glance at Natasha’s face, Carol’s now composed thoughts cluttered up all over again. Her eyes followed their way up Natasha’s perfect figure and took in every minor detail: from her lavish Christian Louboutins pumps to her midnight cocktail dress that highlighted her curves in all the right places, saying her breath was taken away was an extreme understatement. 

Clearing her throat, she blurted abnormally, “Hi.” Since her nervousness was now accompanied by speechlessness and breathlessness and all the other -nesses related, Carol was locked in a daze with no hope of getting out. Although Natasha was deeply flattered, they needed to get going on their reservation. 

“You could at least take me on this date first.”

Carol returned to reality. Natasha’s heavy, sultry voice turned her on with a passion. Being the woman known to bounce back as second nature, it allowed Carol to finally gain some control. She leaned on a single leg, crossed her arms, and furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Now, how am I supposed to deal with that?”

Natasha chuckled in return, “what?” 

“It’s just- out of all the galaxies I’ve visited- that have these celestial landscapes with magnificent things humans could never imagine to exist, I’ve never seen anything so gorgeous,” she eyed Natasha’s body so it was clear Carol was speaking about her, “I’m worried someone might snatch you away.” 

Natasha looked down and shook her head, a warm feeling contributing to her growing blush. After a short moment, her clinquant emerald eyes moved up to meet Carol’s. 

“You’ve always been a talker haven’t you.” She rolled her eyes jokingly. “But thank you.” 

“Of course, Tasha. Just don’t run off with someone who could actually compare.” 

“Someone better than you? I could never. What more could a girl want?”

Natasha plastered a soft smile and Carol handed the large bouquet in return. She liked little gestures, but when they came from Carol Susan Jane Danvers, it was a whole other denomination.

“I’m so lucky.” 

There were many more words left unspoken, but only three already has Carol’s heart thrashing. They’ve interacted three times (with minor flirting here and there), yet Carol was already all about this woman.

“Are you ready, Miss Romanov?”

The couple lovingly linked arms. Natasha   
leaned on Carol’s shoulder and closed her eyes, absorbing everything that’s happened so far. Together, they made their way out into the night for an experience neither would ever let go.

X

“You all set?” 

Carol cautiously set the framed photo on the night stand. She slumped on the headboard with a pronounced sigh. “Yes.”

“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, Carol.” 

As soon as he pivoted into the opposite direction, Carol’s hand took a sudden clasp of his own. He turned and looked down at the woman with a questioning stare. Without hesitation, she stood up and enclosed his masculine form into a long lasting hug. He didn’t know that she had recognized his grief, most likely too occupied with her own. But she had, and for that, he was forever thankful. 

“Thank you for everything, Steve.”

“Of course,” replied Steve, still firmly enveloped, “anytime. We’re family.”

“Means a lot.” She returned in a small voice.

They parted only for time’s reason. It was late and the next day was Natasha’s memorial. Not a funeral, because her body was somewhere only God knows where. But, it was clear of Vormir that’s for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comments or kudos is greatly appreciated! This fic contains many omniscient flashbacks and snippets of present day circulating Carol. Expect updates once every week? Love you all x


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